Friday, August 8, 2014

Losing My Grandpa

Certain things are difficult to write about. Grief is one of those things.

I've struggled with writing anything on PDBJay for a week, because I like my little space on the internet to be one that is positive and fun. But life isn't always positive and fun. No, sometimes life can be a big fat jerk.

Yesterday my family celebrated the life of my Grandpa, Kenneth Crawford.

I've struggled for a week with being overwhelmingly sad yet relieved that he is no longer stuck in a body that was so tired. Such is the dilemma of being temporary residents of these bodies while our souls long for eternity (2 Cor 5:12).

When I visited him last Monday, he was still sharp as a tack, even if his body made it challenging to express what he was thinking. He blew kisses when my Mom put chapstick on his lips, nodded in agreement to conversation and held my hand tightly while I sat with him.

He was a funny cowboy who loved his black boots and long sleeved shirts with snaps. He always knew how to make me laugh and he always had a cup of coffee - even when it was 100 degrees outside. "Gotta get the inside as hot as the outside," he would say.

When I turned 25 I called myself an "old fart." Grandpa didn't miss a beat and said: "Well, then you better make sure you stay out of the wind!" -- That has been our little joke for the last five years.

I will miss him terribly, but I am looking forward to seeing him someday - with his black boots and strong glorified body. Until then, I will be drinking hot cocoa to get my inside as warm as the outside and making sure I stay out of the wind.

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