Matters of the heart turn me into a bit of a basket case… but, man do they make me feel ALIVE! Whether I am shouldering someone else’s grief, worrying about things I have no control over (more on that later) or dealing with self doubt and disappointment – I read more scripture, pray until there is an indentation in my living room carpet, and have the inexhaustible urge to exercise (hello jeans I haven’t fit in for a while).
My mantra right now is the first part of Ephesians 3:20~
“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think…”
When I am “down” and struggle with circumstances, I am holding fast to the promise that what God has planned for me is even better than my WILDEST dreams! – and believe you, me… some of my dreams are pretty extraordinary! How wonderful to know that God knows the desires of my heart and can “one-up” me – If that is His plan.
Pastor Paul preached a sermon weeks ago and used the word : “lavish” –God is just waiting to LAVISH me with the good plans He has for my life! Coincidence that my Dad would have a small stone on which he had written “lavish” – I think not… the stone has found a home on display in my living room. It is my silent reminder to never give up hope… When I pray fervently, I am trusting that God’s will and what I desire are going to line up and the result will be: pure, lavished, awesomeness!!!
This does NOT mean that God’s divine plan for me (and specifically: my love story with My Charming) will fit into the cookie cutter ideals that I have. I know this though: my resolve to stand, and if it has to be alone, FINE, steadfast and without compromise will mean that the things that really matter will all materialize according to God’s plan – even if it does so in an unexpected way. Does this mean I won’t face difficult times? Goodness no! But the point of JOY is to have it at all times, in the valleys and the mountain moments. I don’t aspire to be “happy” at all times… those who have made the mistake of saying that happiness is what God wants for us, have experienced a severe tongue lashing for misquoting/interpreting scripture to their liking… but I do try to find the joy.
I know not how it will happen, or even what “it” will be… but I can be, or at least try, to be assured that my God has everything under control. He may need me to shut up and listen a little more closely (ha!), but He most definitely does not need my help. Read: if he doesn’t need my help, I don’t need to spend countless hours mulling circumstances over in my mind… “See the lilies of the field, they neither toil nor spin…” man. Have I been doing a lot of spinning lately.
So, now what? I pray, relax (maybe enjoy a great glass of wine), and rest in knowing that God knows my heart – and the ache –
“Far more abundantly, Elise… far more abundantly…”
* Photo props go to my talented friend JR Knox! Thank you for taking the time to capture my lavish stone in an artistic way...
Thanks Leah for all your help too!!! <3